Help With A Shady Relationship?

Hey, I know I am new to this site and all but I am loking for relationship advice too. And I ran into your thread. I don't understand, you say that you love her, but then you said you don't even care anymore? How can u do both? Either you care or you dont. What is the reason behind you two fighting and arguing? Did you hurt her?

Well, right now, I am in a shady relationship, and I want out. But my guy doesn't and now I feel forced to stay in. I just don't love him and trust him like I used to.........can someone help me?

[SenatorB]

Well, right now, I am in a shady relationship, and I want out. But my guy doesn't and now I feel forced to stay in. I just don't love him and trust him like I used to.........can someone help me?

Explain what you mean by a shady relationship, and how come you feel forced to stay in? What will happen if you leave him? The more details you can give about your situation, the better we can try to help you.

I don't know if I love him like I used to, and he's abusive. He yells at me and curses @ me alot. He is very short-tempered and I think if I try to leave or make him leave he will kill me. I love him, but I feel so confused. I don't know why it's so hard to love him completely, he cheated on me. And I can never trust him again, and that's a hugh problem.

[SuiGeneris]

Well it's definatly easier to know what to say when you explain shady, but all that aside.

Really the most important thing is to get out of the relationship. It's not helping him or you to stay in a relationship where the feeling isn't mutual. After all a relationship is all about trust and love; and if neither of those are present whats the point?

I'm not entirely sure what you should say; it depends on the person and his personality, but my advice is to get out anyways.

What would be a good way to leave, him and i live together. If I leave I have no where to go, and if I try and kick him out, he hasn't any place to go either. It's a mess. Just a few days ago, he hurt me badly. I am scared of him. He doesn't know it though. I try to fight back, but I always lose.

(You've been posting the same thing twice and it's been automerging it/I've had to delete... I'm not sure if you're maybe hitting the button twice or something, but if you know what's making it do that, please stop... thanks. -SenatorB)

[SenatorB]

I don't know if I love him like I used to, and he's abusive. He yells at me and curses @ me alot. He is very short-tempered and I think if I try to leave or make him leave he will kill me. I love him, but I feel so confused. I don't know why it's so hard to love him completely, he cheated on me. And I can never trust him again, and that's a hugh problem.

Well I can definitely see why you'd want to get out of this relationship, you don't deserve to be in an abusive relationship, nor one where you're being cheated on. However, if he's going to kill you if you leave him, that makes things a bit different... I can't really think of any good solution to that... maybe if there's some sort of police advisor person you could talk to that would know what to do in that sort of situation, or you could try to slowly make him no longer want to be in the relationship with you (stop being as responsive to him, do slightly distasteful things, etc. so other girls are more appealing to him).

[Aleks]

I shouldnt be saying this but yeah

Kick him out, Doesnt he have parent to live with,
Same goes with you, Dont you have friends..Parents..Relatives to live with when he kicks you out

The better is to try and calm him down and have a chat with him about his behaivor towards you

I have tried to be distant from him and he just gets upset. He gets mad at the smallest thing. I just be afraid to say anything. One moment he's loving the next he's flipping. I tell him it's unhealthy and he starts getting crazy on me, saying we have to be together. I tell him, we can be friends and he starts grabbing me up. I can't tell my friends or family they will go crazy and I might never see him again. It's a crazy love I need help out of.

[Aleks]

I can't tell my friends or family they will go crazy and I might never see him again.

Its better not to see him rather getting abused every day by him and if I was you..I would tell someone that would do something about it

It's a crazy love I need help out of.

Probably leave him and if he threatens to kill you or harm you in anyways..Report to the Police

Thanks, you guys have nice advice, but sadly I will probably never leave, cuz I just do not know how. We have been together so long leaving won't be easy on the heart.