What do i do?

[Westy]

What do i do?

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I have been dating my girlfriend for 15 months now,we dated way back when we were both 14yrs old.We met up again on the internet and been together ever since.
I had loads of other women that i used to talk to before i met up with her but not once did i cheat on her, and i carried on talking to them for months after too. I wont go into details but i was being a little bit of a shyte in regards to the othe women. I did not know if this reunoin was goin to last the distance so i guess i kept my options open as it were. Thing is she now distrusts me so much its breaking us apart. I love her to bits and since the **** hit the fan some 9 months ago i have been nothing but true to her in every respect. Trouble is when ever we row, and its usually got something to do with the non trust issues she has it makes me wonder if it is all worth the bother.
Now some of you may be aware that we are having a child together and that is fantastic in my eyes.I thought it would bring us closer together and it has i think, but when she gets a bee in her bonnet in regard to the distrust issues things go **** up.I love her ever so much and i know she feels the same, but can not seem to make her believe im not interested in no other women other than her. Please someone advise me as to how i deal with this dilema before we get to the point where we hate each and split up?

[AngelsPeak]

It sounds to me like she's making the fatal mistake many do when it comes to arguing, bringing up the past.
Have you given her any reason not to trust you? If not then what else can you do? Nothing.
When you say you were being a "shyte" in regards to other woman, does this mean you were talking to other women, or were you actually cheating on her?
I've always felt like jealousy is a wasted emotion. My husband talks to other women, even has some good women friends who he goes out with every now and then. The bottom line is, I trust him to do the right thing, and he knows if he doesn't then he needn't bother coming home.
Let her know, if the trust isn't there, then what kind of future can you possibly have together.

[Constantine]

It's hard for someone to trust someone who has cheated on them seeing as most people hold it as the ultimate sign of dishonesty.

[Westy]

Originally Posted by AngelsPeak

It sounds to me like she's making the fatal mistake many do when it comes to arguing, bringing up the past.
Have you given her any reason not to trust you? If not then what else can you do? Nothing.
When you say you were being a "shyte" in regards to other woman, does this mean you were talking to other women, or were you actually cheating on her?
I've always felt like jealousy is a wasted emotion. My husband talks to other women, even has some good women friends who he goes out with every now and then. The bottom line is, I trust him to do the right thing, and he knows if he doesn't then he needn't bother coming home.
Let her know, if the trust isn't there, then what kind of future can you possibly have together.

I have said i have never cheated on her, but i was talking to other women whilst i was with her?
Have tried on many occassions to defuse if you will the history( thats how i see it) whats done is done, but she got a memory like an elephant and cant forget.

[AngelsPeak]

Originally Posted by Westy

I have said i have never cheated on her, but i was talking to other women whilst i was with her?
Have tried on many occassions to defuse if you will the history( thats how i see it) whats done is done, but she got a memory like an elephant and cant forget.

Since you're having a baby together, that complicates things. I could never stay with someone who didn't trust me, especially if I was being wrongly accused. Life's to short to walk around on eggshells.

[Westy]

Originally Posted by AngelsPeak

Since you're having a baby together, that complicates things. I could never stay with someone who didn't trust me, especially if I was being wrongly accused. Life's to short to walk around on eggshells.

I agree it does complicate things, but i would never dream of leaving her i love her too much. The eggshell senario seems to be a fact of life in this relationship, maybe it is my own fault because of the history but it does get to the piont at times when i do feel like saying **** it and moving on.
I just tell myself to believe that one day she will eccept the past and begin to trust me again ( even though talking to those other women was a little naughty) Thing is it was just banter as far as i was concerned, maybe i said things that i should'nt have but as i said before what is done is done this is now.It has never occurred again since nor will it ever just wish she'd believe it thats all?

[DaStevez]

Patience, man, patience. You need to prove your trust to her, as ****ty as that sounds. I don't know how you can accomplish it. It might just take lots of time and dedication on you part.

Just got to ask youself, is she worth it?

..is your kid worth it?

[Westy]

Originally Posted by ScubaSteve

Patience, man, patience. You need to prove your trust to her, as ****ty as that sounds. I don't know how you can accomplish it. It might just take lots of time and dedication on you part.

Just got to ask youself, is she worth it?

..is your kid worth it?

Thanks Scuba, She is worth it and so is my baby, its just sometimes given the past etc when we have a dind dong i sit there and ask myself what am i doing in this position...? The answer is coz i love the woman, and yeah i often tell her that her trust will come back. When, i dont know mate hopefully soon.

[DaStevez]

Good to know, man. Good luck.