Ok, sorry for thread, but I have to ask lol.

A short while ago, a boy I liked who was extremely nice to me; asked me to sneak out with him for 2 hours while my dad was at work. He promised that he would have me home before my dad came home.

This boy was extremely nice, and helped me with my homework and notes ALOT in school. He is super cute too lol.

Anyways, he took me out to his friends house where they are having a pool party, and playing on a big slide. When I asked to go home he said wait, and so I waited. 2 hours later I was getting really worried, so I asked again and he said wait. I asked him again and he said stop asking and then he was joking with his friends, telling them that I want to take him home so we can have s** which he was lieing. Then I asked him again, and by this point it was like super late, like 8pm and my dad had been home for ahwile. After I asked he said ok. But then he didn't. I fell asleep at like 11 on this kids couch, and woke up at 3am to find him STILL partying with his stupid friends.

He didn't get me home untill 4am. That is why im grounded..


I guess my question is; how is it that a boy can be so extremely completely nice, and then totally change into some stupid evil boy. I know he hadn't any care about me, and I know he spent alot more time with his friends. I don't understand why he would beg me to come along with him so much, and then completely leave me stranded. I don't mean to make it sound like boys are bad, but if any of you boys could explain to me his thought process.

It's just weird. He seemed so completely nice. It's like, how can I trust another boy after this. I mean how do I know that that boy isn't exactly like him.


Anyways, sorry for the drama. If any of you boys could show me your thought process, and point of view toward this, that would be really nice.

Quite a lot of people are different when you have them all to yourself than when they are in a group of people. When it was just the two of you he wasn't trying to impress anyone other than you. So he helped you out, put on a nice guy act to win you over.

I think some people feel a certain need to impress their social group, almost everyone is guilty of this from time to time, even if only to a small extent. Maybe he dragged you along just to prove to his friends that he could. By ignoring you for the most of the night he was completely playing around with you. He also knew that you needed him to get home on time and this gave him power over you. Everytime you asked him to take you home you were granting him control over the situation. He obviously liked having this control if he kept stalling you for an answer.

However I suppose theres also the other way you could look at it. Maybe he did really like you and when you were alone that was when you saw the "real" him. However maybe this guy is so insecure that when he's around his friends he feels like he has to act a certain way. Perhaps if he had spent all his time with you or acted like he liked you, his friends would have seen him as weak or made fun of him for "being under the thumb" or something. Maybe a lot of his friends are players and he is desperate to be like them.

Either way, whether it's down to insecurity or just the fact that he's a dick. Your probably better off without him, people who constantly feel the need to impress others have a lot of growing up to do before they become people worth having relationships with.

So you think that maby it was just his environment? So in that way of looking at it, it's really not his fault and more a product of the situation?

Well kind of, yes the environment probably played a part in his attitude. However it's more probably his issue with wanting to seem like the cool guy or his need to impress people. So it is sort of his fault.

Ok- My thoughts:

One: you should have called your house if you were going to be later. Someone was bound to have a cell phone if you don't have one- Or it was at someone's house- I'm going to assume there was a housephone? could be wrong...but there's got to be a phone Somewhere so you could either tell them you weren't sure when you were going to be home, or to ask them to come pick you up. Yes, it would have been embarrassing, but it's possible, and woulda kept you from getting grounded. Or at least it probably wouldn't have been as harsh.


Two: Boys (or anyone for that matter) Act different when they're in front of people or just doing some one-on-one with someone. It's bound to happen.



That's all I got right now.

I'm sorry, and I don't say this in a mean way, but you're 14. Not all boys are the same. You'll find one eventually who's not mean like this- give 'em (Boys) another chance. But...don't be surprised if it happens again. Just this last week I got stood up on a date from someone who was 23! It's going to happen even when they get older...but you still got a while hun...Dating's fun, I understand that. I'm not telling you to stop dating..just- don't worry so much about this one boy...he'll grow up and mature eventually (At least we hope!)

Barbie I've never talked to you yet, but please take my advice and don't ever ever let a boy sneak you out of your house. Please don't go anywhere that your parents don't know about.

If a boy really is nice, he won't ask you to do something behind your parents' backs.

Another funny thing I would like to point out is this. More often than not boys talk to eachother and give eachother some of the stupidest advice you'd imagine. One certain item that always pops up is "Be a dick to her, she'll love it!".

I suppose the theory behind that is the whole girls dig bad boys and nice guys get stuck in the friend zone. Every once in a while even in my time I've noticed there are girls who prefer to have the nice guy, maybe you fall under that category. But I'll bet you dollars and donuts he has it in his head that he'll stand a better chance if acting like that. Also doing it around friends (probably the ones who told him to do so) he'll be more confident.

I would just drop hints about how much you appreciate his kindness. Thats all it ever took for me to drop my "Bad Boy" act. As soon as I was aware that my good side was the one that she liked, I was always happy to be cordial.

The story reminds me of Grease (not sure if you have watched it). Anyway I agree with Altanzitarron because I have observed it happening too. I'll just put in "bold" the main points I'm talking about.

And ditto Jeanie's advice.

Agreed.

He was stuck trying to impress you and his guy friends at the same time. He isn't mature enough to know that impressing you should come first. If a guy ever puts you down while in front of his friends he isn't worth it.. If he is really into you he will take the jokes about being whipped or what not and still make you his priority.

Wow yes. I think I completely understand why he acted that way now. Now I am happy. I think that if I just tell him how I feel. That I like him when hes nice, maby he will be nicer.

Hopefully the impressing his friends thing isn't true lol.

Thank you so much for the advice. You gave me a completely new way of looking at it that is definitally more positive then I was origannily thinking.