well thats not necessarily true. I still really look forward to being married and I believe its very safe to say that so is she. Thing is we both realize we just dont really feel a need to rush that step. There are a bunch of other goals we'd like to accomplish before we take the step into marriage. For instance we'd like to both be finished with college, have a place of our own, and other personal and together goals.

Doesnt mean we wont get married... we're just not interested in rushing it. hell we're both still pretty darn young, I've seen way to many of my friends from high school get married twice by now! Thats not a path I care to walk.

I didn't say you won't get married like some of the people I knew. I was reacting to this part of your post:

Well thats just thinking logically. I mean in a real sense nothing changes between a couple aside from a different tax bracket and a new title. The only other thing I can imagine that might change between the couple could be slightly more trust? But even that seems generally far fetched to me.

I suppose that falls into a category that only the individual can define for she or he's self. I look at Marriage as very important and a huge step for a couple. Generally a necessary (in my opinion) step before other decisions and actions are taken between two people. However, if you're not ready to make those steps... whats the use wasting the time we have now by rushing into or jumping into marriage just because?

I'm more geared to trust the bond between two people than I am the assumption of the bond a Marriage should have. I feel that marriage doesnt create or change that bond and its up to the couple to work on that themselves. Marriage may be just 1 more link in the chainmail armor of a relationship to me.

Wow, we just keep finding more and more similarities between us.

I don't even remember what the first day was, I think it was Sept 26 or somewhere around there. (We ended up getting married on Oct 17, guess what today is ).

I agree with Hybrix, 6 months to a year engagment max, when you finally say yes and get the ring, just wait long enough to prepare the wedding.

Haha, your last line reminds me of your levels of cheating. Anyway, we're dealing with two different issues here.

First: Short Engagement and Rushing. I don't think short engagement necessarily means "rushing into it". Do some people rush? Yeah. But even if you're engaged for 3 years, if you're not ready to live a married life, it's still a rushed decision. Rushing for me is not about the length of time you decide to get married, it's about doing something you are not prepared to do.

Second issue: Long Engagement and the Value of Marriage. Why is it that some of the people I knew who started with long engagement ideas didn't get married anymore. Maybe it has something to do with what people do before marriage. If a couple lives like they're already married (sex, shared home responsibilities, or even kids, etc.) - and successfully too for many years, then getting married seem to not mean anything except administrative changes. There's nothing much to look forward to anymore so it doesn't matter when the wedding happens or if it happens at all.

lmao you caught me, I generally take life in a compartmentalized fashion.

1 step at a time or I go insane, generally predictable habit to spot in me

I agree with Hybrix that 6 months to a year is a good legnth for an engagement, and like Ice said it is really just a good time to save money for up and coming bills and make sure you will be stable together.

For me I think it is important to be with someone for a while before you get married, but a lot of people get married quickly and survive just fine. I just don't think i could know someone well enough without dating them for a few years to marry them. I think it is also important to live together now-a-days before marriage so you know that you can stand each other in that situation.

I'd say anywhere from 6-18 months is the perfect length of engagement. Anything over a year and a half seems too long and the engagement was probably too soon.

I think being engaged for any time less than 6 months is too fast.

Hybrix with your reasoning I take the polar opposite. "What is your rush?"

Marriage presumably is a final commitment. I think a long engagement allows you to really consider the gravity of your decison. You aren't married yet and people may change over time especially post engagement.

All my friends that have gotten married young being engaged for less than 6 months have actually been divorced.

So there is no harm taking your time you sometimes find more things out about the person post-engagement then when you are courting.

I've just recently become engaged. I'm hoping to be engaged for no longer than 5 years, just long enough to get a place of our own, save some money and then plan the wedding.
However I see engagement as a sign of strong commitment so I don't really have a preference.
I know me and my fiance are going to be together for a long time so I really don't see the rush If you know what I mean.