- Join Date
- Feb 2008
- Level 1
- 24 Hours
Dealing with dishonest friend
- April 24th, 2008 @ 09:46 AM
- 8 replies
- 3,788 views
One time we all caught him in a lie/dishonest act, but since we were out having a good time, we didn't bring it up. One of my other friends came to me and said she couldn't believe how he acts, but then said it's probably best not to make a big deal out of it since it will dampen things. I was shocked by what he did but followed my friend's logic and said nothing.
For years I've gotten better at accepting people for their differences, But recently this friend of mine has done some more dishonest acts that more directly impact me. He's been a long-time friend, and I've talked to him before about smaller instances of where he is not "on the level".
I am at a point now where I wonder if I should keep friends like this. He lied so bad this time that I don't feel confronting him will do any good.
As I get older, my standards have definitely stiffened up. I don't like people playing me and admittedly, I have a hard time letting things slide. My fear is that if I start cutting my ties to friends, my circle of friends will shrink to nothing. With a wife and kids now, I treasure the social circle I have. I know people aren't perfect, but I fear my standards are going to cut me off from the world.
Do I disconnect from these people? Or re-examine my standards?
Who cares if you end up with no friends? What's more important? Hanging around with a liar, or feeling good about yourself at the end of the day?
It's a no-brainer if you ask me.
You say you're worried about losing friends because of this but surely you can see that they wouldn't be real friends if that happened.
I recently cut out a friend for the same reason. She and I were quite close, I met her online and she lives in another state but we still have the same circle of friends, albeit through an online community. A few of us had suspected for some time that she makes stuff up to get attention, but the last lie she told me really crossed a line and quite frankly I was insulted that someone who claimed to be my friend would drag me in to her drama based on a real whopper of a lie.
There haven't been any negative consequences as a result.
It may be hard to dump a long-term friend, but in the long run it's worth it.
1) Gather your friends together and discuss this "problem" friend. See if you can help him out in order for him to stop putting you guys through all this drama.
2) Gather your friends again and decide to cut this "problem" friend out of the equasion and don't associate with him any longer.
|dealing, dishonest, friend|
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