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Old 05-21-2005, 11:03 PM   #1 (permalink)
TGirl
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Crying Children

I have a foster child that I have had over a year She is 7 and I just sent her to bed at 8:30...this is her bedtime every night....everynight!!!! And seems every Saturday night the past month or so Seriously she throws this big fit about wanting to stay up later....now I would let her if she was not the crankest little girl that needs her sleep....If she stays up one minute past her bedtime she causes lots of disruption for everyone...she just needs her beauty sleep....
Sooooooooo here I am typing to you all and hearing her scream bloody murder...she hits the wall next to her bed with both hands and she throws her whole body across the floor and its all fake crying to and she makes this horrible bellowing yell in the middle of her fake cries....
ugggg so here I am...my daughter is at her dads, my hubby is at work, and the babies are sleeping (or trying too) and she is hysterical in her room...I have tried everything from talking to her......threatening grounding her the following day...never a threat...I really do it, but how much can you ground a child....uggggggg
So here I am playing music while on the computer to drown her out...theropist said I need to start ignoring her in her fit...walk away.....uggggg she is so loud how do you ignore it??? you can't!!! So music is all I have tonight....

ok thats my current event!!

~Trina~

"It's not what happens to you that counts as
much as how you respond to what happens"
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Old 05-21-2005, 11:07 PM   #2 (permalink)
wolvergambit
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Re: Crying Children

I feel for you. I remember nights like those when my son was younger.
Maybe she would calm down if you told her to stay in her bed and look through a book and maybe she would eventually get tired and fall asleep?

Just a suggestion. I know things always sound better in theory than in reality.

LIVE LONG AND PROSPER!!
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Old 05-21-2005, 11:20 PM   #3 (permalink)
TGirl
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Re: Crying Children

We have done books...told made up stories...but when she gets like this...you can not calm her...its like she is just being awnry...there are no tears its just loud fake cries...so when you try to talk or anything she gets louder....

"It's not what happens to you that counts as
much as how you respond to what happens"
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Old 05-21-2005, 11:24 PM   #4 (permalink)
kromsales
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Re: Crying Children

I have been using the ticket system with mine. It is working miracles too! They earn a ticket...its worth 10 min of free time. They do something good they get one. They do something they are supposed to ...like brush thier teeth they get a ticket. Any time they want TV, games, playtime..they pay me with a ticket. If they mis behave they get tickets taken away. They love earning them! And using them too! Its great. Maybe you could try something like this?

If it takes me a year to answer your post to me, please forgive me as I am dial up imparred.
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Old 05-21-2005, 11:24 PM   #5 (permalink)
fairyquadmother
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Re: Crying Children

Maybe you could try a star chart during the week and if she gets XX stars for the things she's supposed to do, good behavior, she could stay up 1/2 hour on saturday night and do something special like popcorn and a video or read her favorite book etc.

BUT, there'd have to be a rule, that at 9:00 if you have a fit, you don't get to stay up the next Saturday.

She's 7, she should be able to grasp that idea.

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Well behaved women, rarely make history!!
~Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
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"Oh bother," said pooh, as he was assimilated by the Borg.
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Old 05-22-2005, 12:33 AM   #6 (permalink)
TGirl
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Re: Crying Children

Quote:
Originally Posted by fairyquadmother
Maybe you could try a star chart during the week and if she gets XX stars for the things she's supposed to do, good behavior, she could stay up 1/2 hour on saturday night and do something special like popcorn and a video or read her favorite book etc.

BUT, there'd have to be a rule, that at 9:00 if you have a fit, you don't get to stay up the next Saturday.

She's 7, she should be able to grasp that idea.
You would think she would be able to grasp that...but that don't work with her...we told her two weeks ago...if there is no fits for the next month..until school is out your bedtime can go to 9:00 in the summer (gasp) that same night we said it she went right into one....Then we reminder her of our deal and she would not stop to listen or nothing she just gets louder....
If you ground her...she gets louder...so we stopped telling her she was grounded...we would wait till the next day when she was calm and then we would tell her she could not play outside today and that these are your Consequences for your actions....then MAN like a light switch WAAAAAAAAAAA WAAAAAAAAAAA here she goes again and would last half the day...
funny too...if you say things like..."If you don't stop you will have to go sit on your bed" all she hears is "go sit on your bed" and she starts to scream...if you say "if you don't stop doing that you will be grounded" all she hears is "your grounded".....its amazing to me.......

She is really a good kid...really sweet lovable and a big help......but if she asks you something and you say NO...OMGosh its the end of the world...and believe me I feel like it is too....lol

"It's not what happens to you that counts as
much as how you respond to what happens"
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Old 05-22-2005, 12:39 AM   #7 (permalink)
doubles2004
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Re: Crying Children

Kids you gotta love em no matter what .Been through that years ago with my daughter.Thank god she's out of that stage . I hope she is at 17

I've learned....That life is like a roll of double;' 'toilet
paper'; The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
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Old 05-22-2005, 12:54 AM   #8 (permalink)
TGirl
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Re: Crying Children

Well me, myself only have one daughter she is 12 and a handfull...then I have a 22 year old step son...I know I know I am too young lol

Then me and hubby together have three foster children ages 7, 23 months and 4 months.....we are in the long process of adopting the 23 month old....

but this is hard work....God musta only let me have one for a reason....a part of me always thought I needed another one, but I was unable to have anymore....then our Austen came into our lives and he even looks like my husband ...people say it all the time...its Crazy....he is our son....

but no more.........lol Hubby even wants us to stop doing foster care for awhile so we can have quiet time...and I think I am ready for that too.....we use to have such a quiet home....not anymore...someone is screaming...someone is complaining, someone is hitting someone else...it is pure crazy here anymore....lol
but they are kids and thats what they do...lol and you do gotta lovem....

~Trina~

"It's not what happens to you that counts as
much as how you respond to what happens"
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Old 05-22-2005, 01:00 AM   #9 (permalink)
doubles2004
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Re: Crying Children

Yea i understand where your comeing from . But just think of all the fun you would miss out on if you only had 1.

Also i think anyone that is fostering kids or adoption is great .I salute you all

I've learned....That life is like a roll of double;' 'toilet
paper'; The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
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Old 05-22-2005, 01:44 AM   #10 (permalink)
Nanner
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Re: Crying Children

Quote:
Originally Posted by TGirl
Well me, myself only have one daughter she is 12 and a handfull...then I have a 22 year old step son...I know I know I am too young lol

Then me and hubby together have three foster children ages 7, 23 months and 4 months.....we are in the long process of adopting the 23 month old....

but this is hard work....God musta only let me have one for a reason....a part of me always thought I needed another one, but I was unable to have anymore....then our Austen came into our lives and he even looks like my husband ...people say it all the time...its Crazy....he is our son....

but no more.........lol Hubby even wants us to stop doing foster care for awhile so we can have quiet time...and I think I am ready for that too.....we use to have such a quiet home....not anymore...someone is screaming...someone is complaining, someone is hitting someone else...it is pure crazy here anymore....lol
but they are kids and thats what they do...lol and you do gotta lovem....

~Trina~

I'm always amazed at people who can do foster. Don't think I'm cut out for that. Infact I KNOW I couldn't do it! A BIG YEAH to you for being one of the special people!
Isn't it funny......my daughter (I think I've mentioned she is adopted)? Everyone has said from birth she looks like my hubby. Even now at 3.5 we get comments from people....both ones who know and ones who don't. Also she fits in here so well.....she's goofy like her Mommy....her fav foods are like her Daddy plus the look alike thing....plus a bunch of other things that make her perfect. Makes me glad I couldn't have kids......just wish I was about 10 yrs younger and I could still have her.

Oh and my very helpful hint on the Sat night screaming thing? Ahhh I don't know??????????????????

GOOD LUCK on the adoption!

-------------------------------
Please excuse our mess, but it has been a very busy life.
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